A discipline of any kind is a training which produces moral or mental improvement within a given context (Websters New Riverside University Dictionary. (1984). The Riverside Publishing Company). Self-discipline, therefore, is training dedicated to produce moral or mental improvement within the behavior of one’s self for the purpose of improving behavior or personal attributes.

Developed self-discipline takes time and commitment to create. It doesn’t just happen overnight; you can’t create it in the void of lacking self-discipline either. To develop self-discipline, like anything, you have to start with good habits. A lack of self-discipline to develop is often marked by:

• Repeated and Engrained Procrastination
• Poor or undeveloped Time Management
• Undeveloped ability to conversate for the purpose of listening
• Expressing Jealousy or Resentment
• A finely developed ability and skill at creating excuses for personal failures

Procrastination

From time to time we all do it. We have a task we don’t want to complete, or feel we lack the proper amount of time to complete so we put off the undesirable until the very last minute. However, some of us consistently procrastinate in our work. Self-Discipline requires knowing what tasks lie ahead of you, and actually doing them.

Time Management

Time is finite. The self-disciplined understand this, so rather than trying to control or regulate an uncontrollable and finite resource, they focus on regulating their activity (Covey, S. R. (2004). 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. Free Press).

We can’t physically roll back the clock or force father time to stand still. Of course, literally speaking, you could unplug a clock or roll back the hands of the clock on your wall, but that doesn’t change time itself. We can, however, manage ourselves so we complete the tasks we need to within the time we have each day. Knowing what you need to do, doing it, and disallowing for distraction allows for more efficient use of our time each day.

Those who lack self-discipline either do not understand they have to manage themselves and tasks within the concept of time, or they don’t care. It’s irrational, but many people attempt to manage time, an immovable force, as if it exists to their will. Self-discipline requires knowing that time management really means self-management within time. 

Conversation

As a society in the screen age, we have literally millions of websites at our fingertips full of people expressing their opinions on given matters at hand. Fortunately, some of these websites are developed around the notion of sharing ideas and receiving feedback. Others are formed by people who want to be heard, but they don’t want to listen.

It takes some measure of self-discipline to understand and accept that yours is not the only voice worthy of being heard. Rather than having a conversation for the express purpose of sharing your voice, have a conversation for the purpose of hearing someone else for a change.

Self-disciplined people are rarely dismissive of others. They are respectful of varied opinions and ideas.

Jealousy and Resentment

The green eyed and red-faced monsters of history have caused a lot of damage. It’s very easy to lose our temper. It’s takes restraint to take a step back to try to get a view of the situation at hand from a different perspective.

Spouses, partners, siblings, etc., often find themselves jealous of people their significant others care about because they lack the discipline it takes to understand that no one person is the center of everything everywhere.

It’s very easy for us to justify feelings of jealousy and resentment when we feel them because they’re powerful emotions. But the key word here is, easy. Self-discipline means working to improve our selves on a deeper level than what is required to simply do the easy, often detrimental, things in life.

Excuses and Failure

“A good reason is nothing more than a really fantastic excuse.” (Pat Ellison)

• I didn’t practice for the seat placements because I had a lot of homework from Chemistry.
• I didn’t walk my dog yesterday because I had a lot of work to do.

Maybe the reasons for the initial “I didn’t” of these statements is good enough for many people. They may even be reasonable. However, they’re still nothing more than excuses at the end of the day. Despite having a lot of work each day, a dog is still a commitment, and they need attention. Otherwise, no matter the weight of the excuse, it’s neglect.

As I said, it’s very easy to justify certain actions. It’s also easy to blame external forces when we fail to complete a task, we should have been able to complete on time. A developed model of self-discipline requires that we take responsibility for our actions as well as our failures.

It’s very easy to walk through life without ever developing a sense of self-discipline. However, a lack of self-discipline will often lead to repeated failures in life, love, and career with heavier effect the older we get.